-My Life-

Monday, March 26, 2007
7:00 PM

After goin thru one hell of a dreadful rollercoster... everything suddenly fell into place...


Its hard to specify what i'm feeling into the most closest description coz it will never be close enuf...


Happy? nah... relief? nodda... at ease? hmm...that still doesnt quite cover it.


Aahh... perhapz itz better not to reveal "IT" at all... however i'm pretty sure itz a positive and satisfying feeling which has no connection with stress or frustration watsoever. phuueeww!



I really had a full plate of problemz nowadayz... but assuring that everything will b a-ok really helped me to overcome every single probz that occured.



As funny as this may sound...but i juz feel that hardships can be fun sometimes... although it wasnt and will never be my cup of tea. i mean... solving the complication and the puzzle of it was the most adventurous moment for the heart at least.



But for now... i wud really like to rest this cute small little heart of mine... tired... i can tell... the way it beats slowly nowadayz gave the most obvious clue. so plz... handle it with luv and care... *wink*




I'm having the most ridiculously overflowing period. argh...! (this shudnt be post but i juz cant help it! itz irritating...haha)





Love still.

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Thursday, March 22, 2007
3:49 PM

Hey guyz...



i'm actually mentally sick these couple of dayz... thank GOD i'm still straight... haha



anywayz...



lotsa stuffz has been very disappointing... this morning... everything was getting on my last nerve... and i really gotta get out of my sch and rest my mind, i cancelled yet another important meeting with my enterprenuer crewz...(am deeply sorry) then went to east coast.



somehow the radio knowz that i'm in need of sappy love songs. they played lotsa songs that really connect with what i'm feelin lately...



resting my mind at east coast was... a gd therapy?haha... i kinda doze off for like 2 or 3 hours... coincidentally... ryte after i woke up, the radio starts to play this particular song that brings back.... err.... nvm.




and i started to cry.
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Monday, March 19, 2007
6:45 PM

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Thursday, March 15, 2007
4:32 PM

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Thursday, March 08, 2007
9:13 PM

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007
10:30 PM

You can think about your problems or you can worry about them, and there is a vast difference between the two.


Worry is thinking that has turned toxic.


Thinking workz itz way thru problems to conclusions and decisions, worry leavez u in a state of tensely suspended animation.


When u worry, u go over the same ground endlessly and come out the same place u started. Thinkin makez progress from one place to another; worry remains static.


lately i did alot of worrying and less thinking... even the most smallest thingz which somehow might not happen in the future... or will it? SEE....STILL WORRYING...


wat is happening to me... am i slowly turning into retarded paranoid freak? haha. no...thatz not possible.



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Monday, March 05, 2007
8:23 PM

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Saturday, March 03, 2007
8:25 PM

"Why is that man so ugly, and the mommy so pretty?" Five-year-old Nancy tugged on her mother's arm, and pointed. "Sh! Sh!" said her mother. "You wouldn't want them to hear, would you?" "But Mommy, he's ugly! How can that pretty lady stand to look at him?" The mother glanced toward the couple her daughter was pointing at, quickly taking her child away. But every day during the sea cruise, they saw the couple. Whenever they did, Nancy buried her face in her mother's clothes. "Mommy, I just can't stand to look at him. He is so ugly," she would say.


One day Nancy and her mother, Maria, were on deck, enjoying the sea breeze. The beautiful woman came and stood beside them. She spoke a soft greeting, smiling down at Nancy. Smiling shyly back, while snuggling close to her mother, the little girl blurted out. "Why are you so pretty, and your husband so ugly?" Maria gasped at her daughter's rude question. She was about to scold her when the young woman spoke. "No, wait!" she said, "I've noticed your child looking at us quite often. I would like to tell her a story about my husband, if you will let me." Maria, although quite embarrassed, nodded her consent.


"First," began the young woman, "My name is Rosella. What is yours?" Learning that the child's name was Nancy, and her mother's was Marie, Rosella invited the two to a table, and ordered three glasses of lemonade. And then she began her story.

* * *

"Five years ago my mother and I were visiting in Florida, where we were staying at a hotel. At the same time there were some service men billeted at the same hotel. One very handsome colonel took special notice of me, persisting that I dine with him. He sent flowers to my room numerous times, and smiled at me every time I happened to come across him. My mother encouraged me to accept his offer of a meal. So, at last I did.


It was then he told me that he had fallen in love with me. He asked me if I would like to see him on a regular basis. But I found him most obnoxious, and tried my best to ignore him. "On one particular day I was especially rude to him, and I know it really hurt him. I had gone into the hotel gift shop to pick up a book to read. And there it was that I came face to face with the colonel. He smiled. He had a beautiful smile, and it made his already handsome face--well, he had the face of an angel. But I didn't return his smile. I flung my head in the air, and walked right by him. I heard him say, 'I guess this is your way of telling me to get lost.' I continued on to my room, and went to bed. My mother was already asleep, and it wasn't long before I was.


"About two hours later we were jolted out of bed by the most ear splitting sound. My mother and I scrambled into our housecoats. It was then we heard the frightening words. 'FIRE! FIRE!' Already we could see the smoky, orange shadows encircling the hotel. Colonel Brown--that was his name--was one of the first ones out of the hotel. He watched as the hotel guests fled to the safety of the fresh air. His eyes frantically searched the group in the court yard, but my mother and I were not there. He dashed inside to see if we had made it to the lobby. We hadn't. "Firemen were all around, but although they tried to stop him, Lionel broke by them, dashing through the flames to our room. He kicked the door open. My mother and I, trapped and frozen with fright, were just deciding if jumping out the window was an option. It wouldn't have been. We were three floors up."


* * *


Nancy and her mother hadn't touched their lemonade, so engrossed were they in Rosella's story. Nancy had gripped her mother's hand and her eyes were brimming with tears. Rosella paused for a minute, sipping on her lemonade; then she continued. "Lionel snatched two blankets off the bed, and flung them at us. 'Wrap this around your face,' he commanded—and it WAS a command.


Then tossing a small towel around his own face, he commanded, 'Grab my arms, and don't let go until we are outside.' "Blindly, we allowed ourselves to be guided by Lionel, until we were safely outside. But what we hadn't realized was that the towel had come off Lionel's face. His face was burned beyond recognition. He was taken immediately to the hospital where he was treated for burns all over his body. "For weeks his life hung on a thread, his face bound completely with bandages.


Although he couldn't see me, he knew I was there. My mother, by that time, had gone home. Every day I sat by Lionel's bed, holding his hand and talking soothingly to him. At last they took off his bandages. "Gone was the handsome face... But to me it was beautiful, more beautiful than it had ever been. He had received those scars because of me. If he hadn't fallen in love with me, I would have been just another hotel guest, and he wouldn't have known to single me out and worry over my mother's and my safety.


"During those weeks of attending Lionel, I had fallen in love with him. While he floated in and out of consciousness, I crooned to him how my scorn had turned to concern, and my concern had slowly been replaced by love. As soon as he was released from the hospital, we married, and have grown more in love with each other every day." "But how can you stand to look at him?" persisted Nancy. Rosella smiled. "I don't see his scarred face. I see the face of the man he was before he became scarred. And I see the face of the one who loved me enough to risk his life for me. I see the face of the man who loved me long before I loved him.
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-The Babe-

*MARIA* "...Being with you is like having every single one of my wish come true..."

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